You must pass through the circumference of time before arriving at the centre of opportunity. A wise reserve seasons the aims and matures the means. Time's crutch effects more than the iron club of Hercules... He spake a great word who said, 'Time and I against any two.'
Baltasar Gracián, 1647 (tr. Joseph Jacobs, 1892)
Waiting, done deliberately, is an action. Most people only know the resentful version, which is merely delay with suffering added. The deliberate waiter has decided what he is waiting for: the other side's position to soften, a price to finish falling, an angry person to calm down, a child to be ready in their own time. Time's crutch beats Hercules' club because most situations contain a force already moving your way, and force applied too early cancels it. The circumference before the centre: there is no tunnel to the middle of things.
Practice
- Convert every wait into a watch: name the condition that ends it ("When X happens, I move"). A wait with a trigger is a plan.
- In a negotiation, be willing to wait longer than the other side. The party with the nearer deadline usually pays for it.
- Put a date on every wait, so you can tell ripening from rotting. A wait past its named condition has become avoidance wearing patience's clothes. (Maxim 39 knows the window.)
Use this when
- Use this where the other side's clock is worse than yours: disputes, purchases, standoffs with builders, sellers, and committees.
- Use it with aging parents and growing children alike; both run on clocks that pushing only slows (the decision must ripen into theirs).
Ignore this when
- Don't wait on the matters that compound against you: symptoms, small debts, misunderstandings with people you love. Those rot, not ripen.
- Don't let "time and I" become your only two allies; some centres require the club after all, on schedule.
A picture of it
The builder's final demand arrives with theatre: pay the disputed charges within the week or face "escalation". The buyer, advised well, notes two facts: possession is already his, and the builder's project loan is repriced next quarter, so the builder needs cash before then. He responds with courtesy and no money, once. Nine weeks of silence follow, during which the builder's deadline turns out to have been the builder's problem. The settlement arrives in the tenth week, at a third of the demand, with the theatre edited out.
The side in a hurry pays more. Time and I against any two.