You have to distinguish whether the contradiction comes from cunning or from vulgarity. It is not always obstinacy, but may be artfulness... Caution is never more needed than against spies. There is no such countercheck to the picklock of the mind as to leave the key of caution in the lock.
Baltasar Gracián, 1647 (tr. Joseph Jacobs, 1892)
When someone contradicts or provokes you, the first task is to read why, because the same challenge can come from very different sources. Some contradiction is mere boorishness, the reflexive argumentativeness of a coarse person, which is annoying but harmless. Other contradiction is artful, a deliberate provocation designed to make you reveal something in your heated reply, the picklock of a mind trying to open yours. The two call for different responses: with the boor you risk mere difficulty, with the spy you risk real danger. The defence against the second is not to take the bait, not to let the provocation draw out what you would otherwise keep to yourself. Leaving the key of caution in the lock means keeping your guard up precisely when someone is working to talk it down.
Practice
- Read the source before you react; contradiction can be harmless boorishness or an artful provocation designed to open you up (maxim 213 is the same picklock, viewed from the other side).
- Do not take the bait of a deliberate provocation; the heated reply it fishes for is exactly what you should not give.
- Keep the key of caution in the lock; guard your tongue most when someone is working hardest to loosen it.
Use this when
- Use this when contradicted or needled, especially by someone who may be fishing rather than merely arguing.
- Use it to distinguish the spy from the boor; the first is a danger to answer carefully, the second a nuisance to let pass.
Ignore this when
- Don't treat every disagreement as a trap; most contradiction is honest or merely tiresome, not espionage (maxim 294 sits in the other chair).
- Don't get drawn into contradicting the contradicter; matching their argument is how the provocation succeeds.
A picture of it
Needled in a meeting by a peer who keeps challenging his numbers, a manager pauses to read the source before reacting, and sees it is not honest disagreement but a deliberate prod, an attempt to make him blurt out the confidential assumption behind his forecast. Recognising the picklock, he keeps the key of caution in the lock: he answers the surface calmly and gives away nothing the provocation was fishing for. Had he taken the bait and argued heatedly, he would have revealed exactly what the peer was angling for. Telling the spy from the boor, and refusing to contradict the contradicter, kept the confidence safe.
Before you answer a contradiction, read its source. Tell the spy from the boor, and keep the key of caution in the lock.